Britain’s registered clowns should be made to travel to their place of work in full costume, a leading political think tank has suggested.
James Adams, a spokesperson for the advisory body, claims the policy would be a hit with other commuters.
“With the recent riots, nationwide spending cuts and the Go Compare ads all taking their toll on our society’s collective morale, I don’t think the psychological benefits of seeing someone struggle through a busy ticket-gate in outsized trousers can be overstated.”
“And, if you’re going to be stuck in traffic on the way to work, wouldn’t you rather the cause be six fat clowns in an overturned pedal car and not some other, more routine, and distinctly un-hilarious road traffic fatality?”, he added.
The plans have not been well received by the clowning community, however, and Mr Sprinkles, chairperson of the UK’s largest clowning union, sees them as a pie in the face for his members.
“These people have obviously never tried to get a plank on a tram or operate a ticket machine in giant hands – they just don’t live in the real world. And imagine the disruption at especially busy stations, like Oxford Circus for example...”
He has also refused to rule out industrial action, “If we have to march on Downing Street, we’ll march on Downing Street. Then they’ll see that we're serious!”
David Cameron is, as of yet, undecided on whether to act on the proposals, but says that clowns should be proud of, and embrace, the role they could play in his Big Society vision.
“No one’s saying this will be easy, but clowns need to do their bit too. If we do decide to push through with these measures, they’ll just have to put on a brave face.”