Producers of the BBC drama Torchwood have apologised to viewers who tuned in to last Thursday’s episode after a prolonged sex scene involving cast members was inadvertently screened during the programme.
Complaints from viewers reached unprecedented levels after erotic scenes believed to have been lifted 'straight' from John Barrowman’s private home movie collection had been mysteriously shoe-horned into a recent episode of the popular sci-fi drama.
Producers revealed the original ‘lost’ sequence intended for that episode had been over three weeks in the making, was beset with endless re-takes and had run to hours of footage before they were finally satisfied – was to have featured a 30 minute sequence shot in a cornfield with Eve Myles and Alexa Havins emerging dripping wet from a stream, only to find leather clad co star Freema Agyeman had stolen their clothes. An argument breaks out and the three soon became embroiled in a bruising battle for supremacy with lots of hair pulling and biting and scratching and kicking and gouging which results in Agyeman having the clothes ripped from her back to reveal she is wearing nothing more than a skimpy little pair of pink lace panties and a flimsy wet T shirt tied off at the waist to reveal her pouting, pierced navel...or something like that.
In its place was a 10 minute sequence of Barrowman cavorting naked with fellow actor Danielle Favilli on a bed of ostrich feathers covered in Bertolli sandwich spread.
‘The girls spent days trying to nail that sequence and now we’re going to have to go through the whole damn thing again’ sighed executive producer Russell T Davis ‘well the budget won’t stretch that far so we’ll be looking for volunteers. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way it is...somebody has clearly cocked up over this footage so they’ve only got themselves to blame
It’s unfortunate, but from a purely artistic view point the scene won’t have the same dramatic impact now the corn has been cropped and the field has been reduced to a squelching sea of mud. The girls aren’t going to like it that much but I'm sure the guys will be able to get themselves up for it.
On the plus side Bill Pullman said if it would help out, he’s more than happy to get down dirty in the mud with Eve any day of the week.....cameras or no cameras.
That Bill...he’s some guy.
OK guys...funs over...which one of you bastards has spelt ReTarD on the back of my producers chair?
(hat-tip to simonjmr)