As the annual Great Dorset Pikey-fest gets underway, organisers are already hailing this year as the most successful ever.
Up to a fortnight prior to the gates opening, roads around the area were blocked with caravans and battered Transits. Roadside hedgerows and verges for miles around were traditionally decorated with empty bottles, nappies and rusting household appliances. As crowds began to converge, rural crime figures rocketed.
A spokesman for the event declared that the first day of the event was up 5% and was now representing more than 50% of the annual crime reports for Dorset, Wiltshire and Hampshire. “There are not many festivals that can say that!” He added, grinning broadly and displaying an impressive set of tooth.
Thousands of tourists flock to the show every year to rub shoulders with traditional Pikeys, get roughed up and have their wallets stolen while gawping at oily steam engines and flyblown nags.
One couple from Yorkshire have been coming back for ten years. “It has become something of a tradition for us now” they told us, “Our daughter was only 14 when we first brought her here and now, ten years later, we’re not sure we’d recognise her if we ever did find her again.”
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The Great Dorset Pikey-fest gets off to a flying start
(5 posts) (4 voices)
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beau-jolly
offlineMemberPosted 1 year ago # -
dvo4fun
offlineMemberb-j like it *s.
This explains why, on this lovely late summer day, there was such an absence of Transits at Bucks County Show; where I was interested to learn that the Hunting with Dogs legislation will soon be repealed. I also managed to avoid to avoid buying a new riding crop, flat hat and corduroy slacks.
Glad to hear of the Dorset gig. This kind of event makes a welcome change from the Notting Hill Carnival type of thing to be found, all too often in large conurbations.
Nurse - screens please
Posted 1 year ago # -
waylandsmithy
offlineMemberAre they calling it the southern Appleby yet?
Excellent stuff and worth expanding a bit, I reckon. Very funny.
Posted 1 year ago # -
dvo4fun
offlineMemberIf Dorset's Police Officer has a young family s/he may have been on holiday, leaving the actual 'policing' of the event to others. In my youth such stewarding was frequently undertaken by a mottley collection of unkempt bikers, masquerading as Hell's Angels. Trouble with that was often found in the sorting of the sheep from the goat as it were. Or, in this case, the Piker from the Biker.
Posted 1 year ago #
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