The makers of Nurofen have teamed up with condom manufacturers Durex to make a condom that will help banish the nation’s most frequent and implausible bedroom excuses for good
The new condom - made from a latex/aspirin hybrid – is primarily aimed at the oral sex market and has been designed to satisfy both sexual partners – regardless of gender or age.
The manufacturers are confident that in future, no sexual partner will be able to cite ‘the headache’ as a reason for not indulging in depraved sexual behaviour of an oral nature.
‘The Nuro-Duro guarantees the days of trotting out the same old excuses are over’ said marketing director Ray Hutton ‘in fact, the next time anybody claims they’ve got a headache you can quite legitimately shove your knob down their throat, give them a good seeing to and still walk away with your reputation intact. Afterall...you’re only trying to help’.
The Nurofen team at Reckitt Benckiser say tests have already proved that the more oral sex you indulge in...the better your headache becomes.
And now tests are already underway on the next generation of condom which will be designed to make shagging an even more no-holes barred, pleasurable experience with the introduction of the MuffAnal .....a versatile condom that can be discretely slipped on to the flaccid penis during the initial arousel phase or moments before eventual full erection is achieved.
Nurofen are confident that whether it’s a high class hooker at the Ritz or a young rent boy down a dark alley who only charges a fiver....the MuffAnal will be the condom of choice for all self aware sex addicts in future.
‘ Tests are going well’ said Dr. Getner from Nurofen ‘I think everybody here in the lab is satisfied with the results so far. Except Darren that is....some joker dropped a Viagra in his coco pops this morning and he’s had a raging hard on all day. We strapped him to the shagging machine with a picture of Miranda Kerr covered in coconut oil but it hasn’t made the slightest difference...if anything the coconut seems even fuller now.
Nuro-Duro have already lined up major celebrities to model the new range of condom
‘We’ve got Bono on board’ said Mr. Hutton ‘we needed an iconic figure to promote our single pack of one...it’s called The Wanker....I think everybody in the office came up with that name simultaneously...I guess it kinda chose itself really’.
Comedian Stephen K Amos has agreed to model the Dongex Big Boi...an extra large pack of 12 aimed at athletes, porn stars and Afro/Caribbeans...although there is a warning on the pack that being banged by Stephen could actually GIVE you a headache rather than help stop one.
Stephen K Amos will also be appearing the Nuro Duro 2012 calendar....he will be featured as Mr. July...and Mr.August...and Mr.September ....and Mr.October
Nuro-Duro : Buy me and stop one...in fact, stop two.
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The makers of Nurofen have teamed up with condom manufacturers Durex to make a condom that will help banish the nation’s most frequent and implausible bedroom excuses for goodPosted 3 years ago #
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