USA explains the "special" in special relationship means retarded
A four-star General explained: 'We are very mindful of using inclusive language and avoiding harmful labelling. In no way do we want undermine or devalue an individual on the basis of physical impairment, but we can all agree the British are f$*king mental.' The backwards manner in which the UK follows America into one illegal war after another, is a clear sign that the lights on but no one is home. Sending British troops to their death just to get a tickle under the chin by
UK to unleash its top drone in Iran conflict
"In times of war, this is the most effective weapon at Britain's disposal," said a Ministry of Defence spokes-ammunition dump. 'It can throw cold water on any conflict and overwhelm every aggressor out there with feelings of stultifying weariness and lethargy. 'Developed out of the dessicated remnants of a crashingly boring lawyer, we have codenamed our drone the Keir Starmer. 'It can drone for hours on end in the Commons without getting tired of itself, invoking this or that
US asks Ukraine for missiles
As the US is burning through its missile stock, with more cruise missiles fired on Iran in three days than supplied to Ukraine in four years, the US has found that specialist weapons can't be generated overnight. 'We've been supplying Ukraine with missiles and now they are building their own. They must have loads now,' said a Pentagon official, 'unless they've been using them,' he added, admitting he 'only reads US news, mainly the sports pages'. Apparently Europe and the UK
Starmer shows Trump how Churchillian he is
Rattled by Donald Trump's jibe that he is "no Churchill", Starmer appeared in the Commons wearing a bowler hat and bowtie and smoking a large cigar. "We will fight them on the beaches!" growled Sir Keir from the despatch box. 'Subject to the restrictions on military activity in Section 46 of the Coastal Amenities Act, 1972,' he added, inadvertently returning to his default setting of pettifogging, rules-bound lawyer. Going back to bulldog Churchill mode, he barked out: 'Some
USA shows restraint by bombing rather than eating schoolgirl
The latest Gulf War is all about a growth mindset and controlling our Epstein urges. Said a psychologist: 'I'm really proud of the valuable work the US has done, an illegal war of agression is such a step forward from satanic pizza parties.' One US General boasted: 'Current casualities are ratio of 1 soldier to every 50 girls. We're clearly winning the war on schoolgirls. If we knuckle down Iran will run out of kids, long before we run out of cannon fodder.' President Trump w
US resort to shooting down their own planes
In the absence of RAF planes operating in the region, the US have resorted to shooting their own planes down. 'As a matter of principle we prefer to shoot down Allied aircraft, but with only Israel taking part it's difficult. We wouldn't dare shooting down one of Bibi's,' said a US spokesman. 'We're hopeful the UK will join us soon, as we're running out of our own planes to down,' he added.
A bible reading from the Book of Epic Fury
And it came to pass that Israel, spoilt child of America, waxed exceeding wrath at the Persians and smote them with all the stuff that America had given them. And lo, they slew the supreme leader, whereupon they and their sugar daddy Donald fell to gloating and cackling whilst amongst the chief Persians there was a wailing and a gnashing of teeth. And then the Persians waxed wrath and smote all the countries around them which were America's allies - which wasn't the plan. Ver
It's called Operation EPIC FURY, here's what they rejected...
Rejected names for the US “War/Award Winning Peace Deal” with Iran: Operation Rock Hard Justice Operation Suck My Freedom Operation Spurting Democracy Operation Lets Murder Dem (Racial Slur Redacted) Operation Engorged Anger Operation Kiss Your Ayatollah Goodbye Operation Security Failure – Stop Sharing This On Group Chat Special Military Operation II – The Distraction
Putin explains to Trump that he's getting it all wrong
'Look, mate - (1) None of this 'Major combat operation'. Bit of a giveaway, and sounds far too aggressive. It's always a 'Special military operation.' (2) You're not attacking a 'foreign country'. Iran is and always has been an integral part of the United states of America, like Canada, Greenland and Venezuela. It's just been acting like a breakaway province in recent decades. But you are liberating it and its people. (3) Don't just drop bombs on it and fire missiles at
USA bombs Epstein news
In a bold pre-emptive strike, Tehran will be the lucky recipients of distraction missiles and a large explosion of smoke and mirrors.
