Helen Skelton today used the word canoes as a verb, but refused to apologise after her 2,000 mile paddle.
The badge wearing adventurer said
In some cultures the coldness of the night is measured by how many dogs it takes to keep warm, such as a Three dog night.
I can honestly say that I have worn out several pairs of trousers; this is a Five gusset river.
My bottom is bruised, my shoulders are sore and the muscles in my neck are making it hard to differentiate between my head and my shoulders but to be honest I am proud of the war wounds, though I am reporting the crew for sexual harassment.