An X-Factor reject could be on there way to stardom claims All-round bastard and celebrity ambulance chaser Max Clifford. And many agree with him, citing that this isn't the first time that the judges on a singing panel show have completely got their decision wrong.
Davros Hardy, of Wandsworth, believed that he had hit all the right notes with his singing routine. 'I work in a pub that every Saturday has a karaoke night and whether I'm working or not, I always get up and belt out some classic Mariah Carey or Madonna and it always gets the crowd going, and I don't mean for the exits. After every performance I always get people coming up to me telling me how good I am and that I should enter X-Factor. So I decided I should, but that I would compose a special routine to really impress the judges'.
This routine composed of pulling his trousers down, squeaking out a few intonations and scales with his posterior and then shitting on the floor to the piano accompaniment of Whitney Houston's 'I Will Always Love You', in front of an astounded Gary Barlow et al.
Max Clifford declared that this decision was a travesty and that the X-Factor judges had, in his opinion 'hit a bum note', but still backed Davros to become bigger than whoever wins it.
'Darius didn't win and he did well. Jedward didn't win and look at them - they're on Big Brother with a gypsy and some other people. JLS didn't win either and they're doing fairly well. It's a known fact that everyone in Britain likes an underdog or a prospective loser and that is why I'm backing him to make it from the bottom to the top.'
Scatalogical magazine Shit Feast Arse Munch Monthly also declared the judges decision 'surprising' and that the rendition of Whitney's classic 'was the best we have ever heard'.
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Defecating X-Factor reject stands to make a fortune claims PR Guru Max Clifford
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