While pupils celebrated record-breaking GCSE results today Linda Chaplin was left shocked and disappointed after being awarded the first grade ‘B’ in nearly thirteen years.
An inconsolable Ms. Chaplin said, “I had heard rumours that not everyone gets an ‘A-star’ and that some people might just get an ‘A’. To be honest we all thought it was a scare story put round by the teachers to get us to revise. But this? A grade ‘B’? I didn’t expect this.”
The result was a double blow for Ms. Chaplin as being blonde, rich and attractive-in-a-posh-girl-kind-of-way she was due to appear on the front page of today’s Daily Telegraph.
She ruefully commented, “It was all planned. The girls and me would hug each other and look smug in one photo and in another we’d jump in the air together waving papers. But all that’s been taken away from me now.”
The exam board offered Ms. Chaplin the opportunity to appeal if she genuinely thought her grade should have been higher.
A spokesperson said, “A few years ago one boy thought he’d got a grade ‘B’ when we mistakenly printed his percentage score on the results slip – 8. Of course 8% was more than enough to warrant a grade ‘A’”.
If the original grade does stand Ms. Chaplin has one other course of action available to her. As her careers advisor explained, “She can lie about her age and then complain about the exams being much harder in her day”.
“Somehow forty-somethings have managed to convince people their lower grades were worth more when really they’re just thick as pig-shit.”