And additionally:
A man goes into a bakers and asks for a loaf of bread. "Sorry", says the baker, "we only have wholemeal"
"That's ok", says the man, "I've left my bicycle outside".
Quick links: NewsBiscuit Home • Chat Room • Writers' Room • Top Ten
What was your favourite childhood joke?
(43 posts) (25 voices)
-
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberAs a borderline Dyslexic, with Dyscalculia and Dyspraxia thrown in, I find Dyslexic jokes hysterical.
Did you hear about the Dyslexic Anorexic? She choked on her own vimto.
Did you hear about the Dyslexic pimp? He opened a warehouse.
Did you hear about the Dyslexic agnostic? He wasn't sure if there really was a dog.
I'll get me cote
Posted 1 year ago # -
arthurminnit
offlineMemberwhy do elephants paint their toenails red? so they can hide in cherry trees.
why do the animals leave the jungle at 4 oclock? thats when the elephants jump down from the cherry trees.
why do cobras have flat necks? they dont leave the jungle at 4 oclock.
whats white and lives up a tree? a fridge.
whats white and falls out of a tree? a dead fridge.
if you have one green ball in your left hand, and one green ball in your right hand, what do you have?
the incredible hulk at your mercy.
what do you call a deaf eskimo? anything you want, he cant hear you!
sadly, i never progressed beyond this level of humour.
however it DOES mean that i would laugh at a dog having a shit.Posted 1 year ago # -
Charlie, that 'Knock knock - who's there? - I dunnup.....' one has kept me amused for days.
I've also told it to several other people who should be old enough not to find it as funny as they did.
Posted 1 year ago # -
charlies_hat
offlineMemberVCG :
It's a definite fave in the CH house - I'm sure my kids teachers are pleased with me...Another favourite in CH towers:
Why did the baker have brown fingers?
Becuase he kneaded a poo.(kind of one of those that has to be told rather than read...)
Posted 1 year ago # -
beau-jolly
offlineMemberWhen I get drunk with old school chums we fall about laughing telling just the punch lines of old jokes. It saves a lot of valuable drinking time.
Two firm favourites are:
"I'm not a real plumber you know"
and
"Don't just stand there, stick another pig on the end."Posted 1 year ago # -
charlies_hat
offlineMemberCan you spot this one BJ ?
...and she said: "Well I don't think you're a fishmonger. I think you've got a plop in the wrong lavatory...."
Posted 1 year ago # -
Right. Well, only much later in life did it occur that this joke has a particularly obvious flaw, but in spite of that elephant in the room (revealed in the very next paragraph) it was an oft-told and heartily laughed-at ouevre, probably because we were nine and it was naughty.
This is all I remember. The female protagonist was a lovely lass named 'shaggerarder' There's the elephant, obvious to anyone with half a brain who wasn't nine. The punchline has practically marched to the front of the joke and, well, punched you, firmly. In the dick.
And it concludes after some considerable rambling with the oddly-named lass being shouted for and the reply coming from upstairs: 'Shaggerarder? I'm doing me bloody best!"
Oh, our aching sides.
Posted 1 year ago # -
beau-jolly
offlineMember... I want to poison them, not kick them to death.
Posted 1 year ago # -
rickwestwell
offlineMember- My brother thinks he's a chicken.
- Why don't you take him to see a doctor?
- We would, but we need the eggs.Posted 1 year ago #
Reply
You must log in to post.