Double glazing company, Everest Limited, have today been appointed as an official co-sponsor of any future riots.
David Squires, CEO of the window repair and installation specialists, is delighted with the deal.
“Obviously, any future riots represent a great opportunity for us so we’ll be distributing Everest-branded bricks, bins and loose paving slabs around impoverished inner-city high streets at the first sign of unrest.”
He added, “We’ve been looking for a way to maximise revenue potential in the ‘distraught shop owner’ demographic for a while but up until now the market, unlike their businesses, has proven a hard one to break into.”
He also feels the left-field move is one that Everest’s competitors would not have anticipated. “Cynically profiting from lower class insurrections? Now, be honest, you didn’t expect Everest to be doing that today, did you?”