In the nick of time Carol Ann Duffy has waded into the volcano crisis with some flowery prose. The Poet laureate (latin for pointless anachronism) is appointed by the queen to write dull poetry in order to irritate the public during times of national strife or celebration. After releasing her latest ramblings the ash was immediately sucked back into the volcano to unanimous praise.
The Keeper of the Queen’s Swans will speak later about plans to repatriate stranded holiday makers using rowing boats.
