China could surpass America in the Satanic Index, if its economic prosperity continues to grow at its current rate.
Cautious Al Qaeda market wachers, meanwhile, have downgraded America, which has been rated Not So great Satan for the first time in its history of trading.
Only China's Human Rights record has guaranteed it top status in the Taliban Ten, the nation states most admired by the masters of misogyny.
'It's OK to be a class ridden, oppressive, polarised economic powerhouse,' said one analyst, 'as long as your not a filthy capitalist.'
As a nation of only children, China is due to throw a massive tantrum on the day marking its birth, and is expected to nuke a few smaller continents in disappointment at the meagreness of its presents, no matter how hard the smaller nations have tried to please it.
'They used to say that when America sneezed, Britain caught a cold," said one economist. 'Well lookout when China gets moody. When the Little Emperors say 'I don't like you any more', then you really ought to be nervous.'