American policy-makers were celebrating last night after coming up with a solution to the world debt crisis.
The White House signed an 11th-hour deal forcing Disney, Pixar and DreamWorks to collaborate on a new animated movie about the global economic meltdown.
Hollywood insiders say the film, working title ‘The Bungle Book’, features a cuddly bear who joins forces with a grumpy giant and a small boy to defeat an evil bank manager and his symbolically greedy family while singing jolly songs about the meaning of life. And telling jokes.
President Barack Obama explained: “For many years Americans have relied on the movie industry to come up with simple answers to the great conundrums of life.
“If we get these great film-makers to combine on a trite, cutesy movie they will come up with an easy solution to the problem for us. Tim Rice may even be able to turn it into a song lyric, which would make it easier to remember.
“It’ll probably be to do with everything turning out all right in the end so long as we keep a grip on our childhood sense of wonder and learn to love and trust one another, but we’ll have to wait and see.
“One thing’s for sure – this movie will offer a firm policy foundation to move us forward and will enable us to extend a helping hand to the rest of the world. Not that we give a flying fuck about the rest of the world, obviously, but hopefully they’ll be thick enough to buy all the crappy merchandise as usual so we might as well.
“Anyway, it was either make a movie or I was going to have to show some firm leadership and a sense of principle and persuade the rest of America that the sun doesn’t shine out of its colossal, wobbling arse. And that’s clearly out of the question.”
US solves global economic crisis by making trite Hollywood film about it
(1 post) (1 voice)
American policy-makers were celebrating last night after coming up with a solution to the world debt crisis.Posted 3 years ago #
You must log in to post.