Rumours that the Duchess of Cambridge could be pregnant are continuing, despite her recent behaviour suggesting that she is not, or perhaps she is, expecting her first child.
Speculation has been rife since her wedding to Prince William as to when the couple would release news of an heir. Disappointingly, Kate has reportedly been eating normally with no apparent weird cravings, and even declined the offer of extra chips with her saveloy from her local chippy recently, saying that she had a figure to maintain. Worryingly, she has also attended early morning public engagements looking fit and healthy and not in the least bit green or sickly.
And yet, to the delight of many observers, she and William remained mysteriously sober during the wedding of her husband’s cousin Zara Philips to Mike Tindall. As several media outlets excitedly reported, the only sober people at a wedding in Scotland are usually either pregnant or under 14 (or both).
But Kate has since been seen smoking and drinking heavily during late night karaoke sessions near the home she shares with Prince William on Anglesey. She has also enrolled on a hang-gliding course and has volunteered for a charity bungy jump in late August, leading to widespread public frustration at the lack of definitive happy news.
A spokesman for the Royal Family refused to be drawn on whether an announcement could be imminent but insisted that Kate’s inconsistent behaviour is not just a jolly jape to wind up the press as some have suggested.
Mr. Brian Marshall of the Association of Gutter Press Hacks remains undeterred. He said, “She can’t fool us. She’s up the duff for sure and nothing she can do will stop us reporting that fact for the next three, six or twelve months, or however long it takes for her to admit it.”