Oleg Deripaska, a Russian billionaire, has offered to assist George Osborne and Lord Mandelson by using his luxury yacht to transport them to a strategic conference in Corfu to discuss the current no-fly crisis affecting european air travel.
The special conference at a high-security villa on the Greek island will only be attended by Osborne and Mandelson as other european politicians are unable to attend because of the euro-zone no-fly restrictions, and Mr Deripaska has kindly accepted the role of administrator and will record the outcome of the talks which are anticipated to be large bail-outs for Russian billionaires and a return yacht journey home for the delegates.
Meanwhile Nick Clegg has not allowed the no-fly rule to disrupt his campaign and will tomorrow accept the use of a small poedalo to allow him to attend a strategic meeting with Vince Cable on the island at Alton Towers, but is dreading the public announcement by the parkie of "Number three, your time is up."