The State of Catatonia has announced its intention to bid for the ICC Cricket World Cup 2015. Speaking from the capital city of Stupor, Catatonian president, Inida Zolpidem put forward the reason for the bid.
“Cricket is the perfect sport for Catatonians. We are a very peaceful nation and this is something we wish to demonstrate to the world as people who do not react to external stimuli. Watching three hours of cricket during a hot Catatonian summer will further immobilise our citizens and create national and hopefully world harmony.”
The effect on Catatonians was first noticed with the installation of Sky Sports at Café Amantadine in Stupor’s sleepy high street. Café owner Snr Olafa Ovaltine accidentally tuned into a match between England and Australia and noticed his customers drifting into a group trance.
“It was strange, one minute they were sitting at my bar indulging in purposeless conversations and the next thing was they became mute and rigid and avoided all eye-contact with each other. The trigger seemed to be the first sound of leather against willow.”
As the game continued Snr Ovaltine became concerned that his customers had stayed in the same position for more than three hours, and fearing a fall in profits contacted local paramedics.
“When they pulled up outside in their horse and cart they could see straight away that we had stumbled on something very important. The customers were strapped up and taken away on stretchers and I was advised to switch over to Dealo or No Wanna Dealo.”
Catatonian architects and planners are considering siting a purpose built cricket stadium on a site close to the City’s famous catacombs. “The location is ideal,” said President Zolpidem, “it will not disturb our ancestors and as most of the crowd will be in a trance there will be little noise during the five day series.”
A spokesman for the ICC confirmed the Catanonian bid and said that talks would be held in Stupor in the near future.