Forum

The NewsBiscuit Community

Sign up or log in - lost password?

Username
Password

Remember me

Quick links: NewsBiscuit Home • Chat Room • Writers' Room • Top Ten

1. 

   beau-jolly
   

   offline

   Member

   Funny old thing, life and death.
   The sun came out yesterday, so Maddy and I went to the seaside.
   The sun also caused the lilies in the garden to bloom.
   The cat brushed against the lilies, licked off the pollen and dropped dead.
   The puppy ate some of the bulbs unearthed when we buried the cat.
   Now the puppy’s been rushed to the vet.
   I will now probably have a heart attack collecting the sack of potatoes that should have been collected by the person rushing to the vet...
   ...mind you the Weaver Fish sting I got at the seaside didn’t kill me but it bloody hurt! I hope I killed the Weaver Fish.
   If only it had rained again.

   Posted 1 year ago #
2. 

   waylandsmithy
   

   offline

   Member

   Good god man, if this is all true, I'm really sorry to hear about it. Hope you're all bearing up.

   Posted 1 year ago #
3. 

   Al OPecia
   

   online

   Member

   Well, try to look on the bright side - the vet bills will be be offset in savings on cat food.

   Posted 1 year ago #
4. 

   The All New Jeni B
   

   offline

   Member

   Jesus! And there was me upset that I lost a pair of sunglasses!

   As Waylandy says, if this is true, my heartfelt sympathies.

   Posted 1 year ago #
5. 

   FraserWords
   

   offline

   Member

   I suppose it's not helpful to point out that the summer holidays have only just begun... in the words of the song, BJ, things can only get better. Can't they?

   Posted 1 year ago #
6. 

   Ironduke
   

   offline

   Member

   Sorry to hear that; PM me if you want...the free vet advice card is a rarely offerred one, but you're genuinely welcome to it.

   Hope pup's OK

   Posted 1 year ago #
7. 

   writinginbsl
   

   offline

   Member

   Bloody 'ell.
   Good luck to all those recovering...

   Posted 1 year ago #
8. 

   Vertically Challenged Giant
   

   offline

   Member

   Well that sucks. I have no idea what a Weaver fish is, but I hope you killed it.

   If you're looking to drown your sorrows there's a bloke on here who knows quite a bit about wine and could probably recommend a good one for you...

   Posted 1 year ago #
9. 

   rickwestwell
   

   offline

   Member

   Bloody hell. I suppose it's no consolation that I've always wondered whether the cat/lilly thing was true, and you've now cleared that up.

   Poor bugger - hope the pup's ok.

   Posted 1 year ago #
10. 

    beau-jolly
    

    offline

    Member

    Thank you all. All is well. Puppy is fine and eating bloody expensive chicken fillets and rice.

    The Weaver Fish thing was interesting. It stung a bit for about 20 minutes. I asked the beach warden chap about it and he told me it was going to hurt like a bastard in about 10 minutes. He was not wrong. Cure is to put your foot/toe in hot water which breaks down the injected protiens. Luckily the tea shop was stil open and it worked. Sitting on the prom with my foot in a dog bowl full of hot tea was odd.

    Thanks for the PM Wayland.

    Posted 1 year ago #
11. 

    guffaw
    

    offline

    Member

    life goes on like this 9/11 joke

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hzm2MCg5HfU&feature=related

    Posted 1 year ago #

RSS feed for this topic

Reply

You must log in to post.