PC Andrew Jenkins feels isolated amongst his colleagues as he is the only remaining police officer in the country not to feature in a fly on the wall documentary.
“Thanks to brilliant and excellent shows such as Cops, Sky Cops, Traffic Cops, Cops with Cameras, Police Interceptors, Street Crime UK, River Cops, and the Bill, every officer in the country has now made a TV appearance.” PC Jenkins told us. “Unfortunately for me, I was off sick with a paper cut when filming took place at our station. The other officers are always calling me a no-body, and are constantly re-playing their moments of glory on the video player at work, which strictly speaking should only be used for reviewing CCTV footage…and watching porn of course. I have therefore decided to apply for a place on this year’s Big Brother. I feel I can add an element of police state to proceedings which Orwell would approve of. Although I obviously acted like an annoying egotistical twat in the interview tape and constantly referred to myself as being a bit wacky”
PC Jenkins’ colleague, TV’s PC Adam Cornwell also spoke to us “PC Nobody was unlucky that it was his turn to be on the sick when the film crew arrived. Fair play to him for trying out for Big Brother, although it’s not really the same, not without Davina.”