World events avoided happening and formed an orderly queue last night as the strike affecting BBC journalists continued.
The millions affected by famine in southern Somalia joined Senators in the US Congress in silent anticipation of the end of the 24 hour industrial action, studiously avoiding doing or saying anything remotely newsworthy in tribute to the corporation's woes. Meanwhile a number of elderly politicians, actors and other celebrities who had planned to die suddenly today clung to life in solemn remembrance of the hundreds of BBC staffers who will now receive pensions worth little more than millions. "our death would mean nothing unless covered in obsessive detail on News 24" said a wheezing Bruce Forsyth.
Politicians likewise put their differences aside as repeats of 'Birds on Sunday' replaced the Today Programme during the early morning slot on Radio 4.
"It's the least we can do" explained Defence Secretary Liam Fox - "at a time when some journalists are facing cuts of up to 10% to their final salary pensions, the least that the country and indeed the world can do in recognition is to pause and put our fundamentally irreconcilable differences aside to remember the blighted National Union of Journalist time-servers".
Meanwhile a flood which had been due to devastate Thailand was postponed until the corporation could get back on its feet. Similarly, terrorists who had been due to launch a suicide 'spectacular' in Turkey put their plans on hold. "Who wants to be martyr only on Sky News?" one commented.
Commentators warned however that the emerging backlog of news could only be cleared by slipshod glossing over of key details and wholesale disregard of major global trends over the coming days.