LulzSec have successfully faked their own arrest by hacking the Metropolitan Police website. The shadowy group of computer hackers are wanted for a spate of attacks on the web, including the homepages of Sony, the CIA and a malicious review of a Coldplay CD on Amazon.
The police only uncovered the ruse by accident. Sgt. Woodward explained: "We were looking at our website during tea break, for some tips on polishing our truncheons. A sharp-eyed lad on work experience asked if anyone could really be arrested for 'Eliteness' or 'w00t! big skillz'."
"On closer analysis, we realised that it was an obvious hoax. The story claimed we'd made an arrest in the Shetland Isles, We don't know quite where that is but we're pretty sure there's no electricity north of Manchester."
"It looked like we'd been pwned."
Asking someone who could read without moving their lips revealed just how much of the site had been hacked. At a press conference, a police spokesman explained that people can't be arrested by text message, and it's not now an offence to be ginger. "We'd like to reassure everyone that we haven't changed which side of the road we drive on either."
The website has been temporarily removed while repair work is carried out. Members of the public who are curious about what a police is and what it does can google it. "Or you can look us up on Wikipedia, that's normally pretty reliable."
Police have appealed to the public for help. "Someone out there is harbouring these criminals. If you own a teenager who knows how to turn on a computer, distrusts the police or rebels against authority, we need you to come forward."
"We'll send round a specialist with a football, who can show them how to play outside. Just give us a call on 118 118: that's apparently our new emergency number."