Running out of ways to con audiences into accepting his latest insufferable miscellany of plot-free cacophony, Michael Bay has decided to try a different tack for the inevitable fourth installment in his successful Transformers franchise.
Transformers 4: Amphigory Unleashed, will see the studio purchasing all screens in all cinemas for a three month block and will utilise marketing taglines such as "You have no choice" and "What are you going to do? Read a book? Ha!"
The press release from Dreamworks was unusually candid:
"Dreamworks pictures are pleased to announce Transformers 4, which will be released in 2012 and 2013 and 2014 and perhaps every year after for as long as we please. What are you going to do about it? We will beat you into submission. You will give us your money for whatever paltry entertainment is on offer in your desperation to escape your futile and finite life. We have strip mined your being of all capacity for making your own fun. Submit. Submit. Submit. It is a rollercoaster ride for all the family to enjoy."
The film's story largely concerns Bay's attempts to make love to three dozen Barbadian beauties on a beach while laughing maniacally and fulfills Alan Rickman's boyhood dream of playing Megatron.