As the American debt crisis deepens, Barack Obama has revealed his latest attempt to meet national debt interest payments: White House lawyers are said to be working around the clock to lodge a compensation claim for mis-sold payment protection insurance on public loans.
This latest roll of the dice comes after the failure of a whiplash claim made by President Obama against the Irish government following an accident in Dublin earlier this year involving the Presidential limousine.
A White House source said: “He is becoming increasingly desperate. Only last week, he came to me in a state excitement saying that he had seen an advert on the internet that said anyone could ‘earn cash fast’ working from home.”
“I forcefully counselled him against getting involved; making it clear that I thought it was too good to be true- but he just mumbled something about needing to get in ‘on the ground floor' and rushed off to tell (Treasury Secretary)Tim Geithner. He had already enrolled half of the staff onto an introductory conference before he realised it was a thinly-veiled pyramid scheme.”
Here in London, fearing for consequences of a US payment default on the global bond markets, Prime Minister David Cameron contacted the President to inform him that, during his visit to Nigeria, he had met a banker who had made request that sounded very promising and offered to let Obama in on the deal.
Rumours are also abound in Washington that the President has turned down an ‘indecent proposal’ from a group of bond investors offering to cancel their share of the monies owed in exchange for “one night with Michelle.”
After Obama’s refusal to agree to the proposition, there was apparently an extremely tense meeting in the Oval Office, where Chief of Staff Bill Davey is said to have told the First Lady she should have: “taken one for the team.”