Following in the footsteps of her family’s successful internet shopping business, Pippa Middleton has launched her new social networking website ‘Arsebook’, hosted by international internet service provider Bum Deals Inc.
The new site has been designed to connect sexually active people between the ages of 18 and 65, who have failed in the usual full frontal lines of attack and are looking to get connected via the ‘backdoor’.
“Where chat-up lines have fallen on stony ground or when lip gloss and butterfly lashes have failed to impress then ‘Arsebook’ is here to take up the reigns,” said Pippa, taking a break from an extreme anal exfoliation session. “If, like me your best feature happens to be your butt then Arsebook is here to promote it.”
Members of Arsebook will have all the benefits of similar rival sites such as Facebook and Bebo including a ‘poking’ facility and ‘scat room’ for people who want to get to know each other a little more intimately. They will be able to post photos of their best features with the aid of airbrushing software to remove cellulite, boils and even stubborn piles.
Matt Donnelly of Bum Deals Inc said, “After releasing Arsebook last month our online sales have literally shot through the roof. We’ve totally creamed Europe and the Far East and we are now breaking into the Pacific rim.”
“You might not end up being a total princess” said Pippa Middleton, “but you’ll be in for some royal treats along the way.”
Anyone wishing to register with Arsebook should take a photo of their backsides though their bathroom mirror or ask a friend to assist them before registering on the site. Pictures of celebrity butts will not be accepted unless they happen to be of Beyonce.
More hirsute male applicants are recommended to consider back, sack and crack treatment prior to joining.