Norman, a talking parrot, from West Bromwich has exposed the sophisticated business model deployed by the makers of Nuromol, a revolutionary treatment for aches and pains and has suggested a cheaper alternative based on the TV advertisements he is exposed to in his cage in the West Midlands town.
"Nuromol which is paracetamol and ibuprofen mixed together is a fantastic business proposition, but not at the £6.99 price-point suggested by its manufacturer" said Brian "As you can buy the two ASDA own brand products for 29p if you are prepared to take two tablets instead of one."
"Although I'm only a talking parrot the TV-advert suggestion of bearded scientists giving each other high fives and pretending to be delighted with the outcome of a dodgy graph from someone with a basic grasp of Excel was a bit too much to stomach, so I decided to - as it were - blow the whistle on this pharmaceutical scam."
"Whenever I have a parrot-wrenching headache I'll always go for the generic 200Mg ibuprofen and 400Mg paracetamol option and save myself a fortune" said the family parrot. I can spend the savings on extra grit and maybe buy a wheel for that fucking annoying canary in the next cage."
If you would like to contribute to Brian's funeral please donate 29p to the Brian Foundation - a charity founded to inform parrots that 400Mg of paracetamol will be fatal to the majority of colourful psittacines. You can, of course, donate £6.99 but this will only be accepted from stupid tossers with the inability to read the ingredients section of a Nuromol packet or its website. Donations from the actors playing the ficticious medics featured in the TV advertisement are rumoured to amount to a tissue-encrusted polo mint and a losing national lottery scratchcard.