A top scientist has found that the purported €400m investment in the particle accelerator was actually a lie. The Government contributed nothing to the any stage of the development. His source is an extract from the Expenses Scandal, in which a claim made by Lord Drayson for £2.50 for a copy of New Scientist has been rejected.
Confronted with the evidence, the minister of state for science and innovation admitted "as part of cut-backs we did not invest. We knew that any findings would be public domain shortly after and a slip-up with Mr Faroukh's Newsagents meant that the relevant copy of New Scientist eluded us. We are in the unfortunate position where Her Majesty's Government is now in dispute with Mr Faroukh as he has hidden the copy in the top shelf, just under "Big Jugs Monthly". He will not retrieve it until the bill is paid in full"
Asked whether the Minister admits leaving the shop with a copy of "OMG - 44FF" he replied that he believed the New Scientist was inbetween the pages, and he was merely helping science progress. However, also possessing a large box of Kleenex was his downfall and his resignation was tendered immediatly after the interview