On-off Manchester City striker Carlos Tevez angered club officials yesterday after he refused to take his earphones off during a press conference. "Oh the night is my world," the striker declared, when asked about his current position. "City lights, painted girls. In the day," he affirmed in English as broken as his dental records, "nothing matters, it's the night time that flatters."
When the Mirror's Oliver Holt suggested that was 'all well and good for those balmy Europa league evenings, but what about the workaday commitments of the premiership', the Argentinian replied. "I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had."
When asked about a potential replacement for Tevez, manager Roberto Mancini confirmed an interest in ex-Portsmouth striker Nathan Jones. "He's been gone too long," Mancini suggested, rocking from side to side and fiddling with the earbuds of his iPod. "He never wrote me, he never phoned."
The club's chairman apologised, suggesting that both men had been under considerable pressure lately, or had possibly been doing shrooms with Brian Kidd.