NASA has complained to the Galactic Council that repairs to black holes are being botched up and taking too long as well as contributing to orbital congestion.
The International Space Station and several space vehicles including Russian and Chinese modules are experiencing long delays in orbit due to the number of contraflow systems in place because of the sudden appearance of black holes.
“It’s getting really hairy up there,” said NASA astronaut, Dan Burbank “One of our guys was doing a space-walk last week and came face to face with a chimp who’d left his capsule to stretch his legs after sitting in a jam for four hours.”
With black holes estimated to cause as many as 1 in 5 mechanical failures on orbital routes and costing space explorers an estimated £320 billion every year, special compensation sites are now been set up. One site, botched_blackholes.com has been created to “help space missions avoid the cost and misery of encountering a sudden black hole.”
A spokesman for the site said, “Whether space vehicles have been damaged by a black hole and explorers want to know how to make a claim against their local galactic council or just want to report a poor piece of orbital route, this is the place they’ll find the information they need.”
There are now fears that a new compensation culture will result from orbital neglect and the effect it will have on insurance premiums.
“Orbital maintenance is underfunded by around 50% or £10 billion every year”, according to space watch dog, Laika. “After a black hole has formed it can continue to grow by absorbing mass from its surroundings. This is bad news for local galactic councils who are suffering severe budget cuts. Orbital contraflows seem to be the only solution at the moment.”
A spokesman for the Galactic Council said, “Freezing conditions in space have led to more holes appearing and with the increase in space traffic this has led to greater congestion. Our workforce is out every day putting cones in place to ensure there are no problems. Where we can we are doing quick repairs but there is a strong possibility that we will have to put congestion charges in place to recover costs.”
Intergalactic haulier Eddie Starbart who is reported to be suing his local galactic council for an undisclosed sum, is asking people to 'honk' their support.