David Cameron today confirmed that despite heavy criticism from Labour MP’s, prospective police cadet Frankie Cruz Johnson is to be the new Police Commissioner for London. The Prime Minister said an urgent shake up of Britain’s largest force was necessary, to improve policing standards and to actually have a police presence in the capital, after the whole force resigned over the News of the World scandal.
Janet Delaney, Frankie’s Head Mistress at Greensleeves Primary School said she was absolutely thrilled to hear the news and thought Frankie would make an excellent Commissioner.
“He is such a popular boy in class, especially now he’s stopped wetting himself when he gets excited.” said Ms Delaney, who added, “Frankie is a very diligent boy and is quite good at reading and writing, although he only got a B- in spelling.” Ms Delaney said she would be working hard on extra spelling for Frankie, including words such as institutionalised, nepotism, referral, hacking and kettling.
In an interview for the Daily Telegraph, while getting changed for PE, Frankie said his priorities upon appointment would be to fight Zombie attacks on the capital and to be “Tough on school bullying, tough on the causes of school bullying". He also said he will be initiating a Police Commission review into corner shop policing levels, especially outside Mr. Hammed’s Newsagent and Confectionary on Beresford Street, where he and his friends were moved on by a community constable last month.
London’s Mayor Boris Johnson said he was looking forward to working closely with Frankie and had contacted the boys Mother at their home in Walthamstow, to ask if Frankie could come out this evening for a police strategy review and to have a happy meal. The Mayor also congratulated Frankie on his bid to reduce policing costs, by pledging to use the policeman’s outfit he got for Christmas last year, despite having no truncheon because it broke when he hit his big brother on the knee.
Frankie’s dad Frank ‘Gripper’ Johnson is reported to have said that despite his son joining the Old Bill, he was very proud of him. ‘Gripper’ did however think that the other lads on D wing were certainly, “… gonna give me some ribbing later... “ Mr. Johnson has asked that it be made clear he definitely said Ribbing