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An unreserved apology to Oxbridge, John O'Farrell and anyone else I've upset

(45 posts) (27 voices)

Started 2 years ago by waylandsmithy
Latest reply from rikkor

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waylandsmithy

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Hi,

I'm really sorry for getting well above myself and going off on one. In particular, I apologise for the personal abuse, which I feel really bad about. I was frustrated, I was also quite drunk, but there's no excuse for behaving like a spoilt little bitch.

I'm not going to sub anything else this month to show I mean it, and I hope I can come back in. I'd completely lost any sense of perspective this month, and also managed to create a paranoid little world where loads of old mates were picking each other's stuff straight away. I now realise that everyone has different taste and I was being a dick.

Sorry. I hope you can forgive my childish tantrum.

Posted 2 years ago #
saltire

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If you're going to sub again,can you start in Sept please ? I've got a tenner on Oxy for Aug WOM. Ta.

Posted 2 years ago #
rikkor

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I got drunk once. Well, it's actually been fairly continuous since 1978.

I kinda guessed the drunk part, due to the decrease in spelling and puncuation potency.

Have no idea who John O'Farrell is. Sounds Irish, so well, you know.

Posted 2 years ago #
ronseal

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Wayland,

Banning yourself for a month seems a bit harsh.

Can't you appeal?

Posted 2 years ago #
ronseal

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Why not Just post a nice comment, and five stars, on the third submission down on the writers board, and I'm sure everyone will forgive you.

The one that starts "Angry Mob of MPs...

Posted 2 years ago #
rikkor

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You'll always remember your first flounce.

Posted 2 years ago #
Sinnick

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Tomorrow you'll unflounce. Guaranteed.

Seriously, come back tomorrow with your best ever. Don't fuck off for a month.

Posted 2 years ago #
fun and games

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Isn't it exciting when it all kicks off? I don't think even JOF would say that was the site's best for todays FP, but sometimes he does favour the work of those who help him by running NiB. I guess that is fair enough. Altrnatively Oxy could have sorted today's FP had JOF not ben around yesterday. He is one of the few who would have the "confidence" to put his own work on the FP, in which case full marks to JoF for covering. I love a conspiracy theory, me. Wayland, give yourself the day off, but I am not sure there is anything to be gained from voluntarily exiling yourself for the rest of the month. In my experience really funny people tend to be a bit mental sometimes, so well done mate, you have passed the test.

Posted 2 years ago #
FraserWords

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What the world needs now is love, sweet love. And hobnobs.

Posted 2 years ago #
Al OPecia

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SugarTits69 has a large box, of hobnobs.

Posted 2 years ago #
Brenda SugarTits69

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And I have Ginger Nuts.

Posted 2 years ago #
editor

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This apology will also be printed in all newspapers tomorrow. Oh and thank you for your gracious retraction. If it is any consolation, I was also drunk on Saturday night and the country dancing I did at that wedding in Devon was even more embarrassing.

However, the thing is Wayland - you have to keep subbing this month, in order to have a crack at the Writer of the Month thing before we change the format.

The criteria may well be different next month - and this might be your last chance to win it just by getting the most front pages...

Posted 2 years ago #
shitsu_tonka

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Hope the new criteria is based heavily on the Krypton Factor. I'm young, tee-total and a runner. See you all on the assault course, bitches ;)

Posted 2 years ago #
Quaz

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Intriguing (as in the 'interesting' meaning of the word).

Ed, I'm sure that most males over the age of 40 don't look good dancing, no matter what the style, except possibly ballroom. I did clear a space on the dance floor at my young cousin's wedding last year, but I'm not sure it was out of admiration for my moves.

Posted 2 years ago #
Al OPecia

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Oh, are we going back to "Writer of Month"?

Posted 2 years ago #
Dick Everyman

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Wayland, don't worry about being a 'Dick' - I have had loads of abuse over the years ;0) in fact I've started a facebook support group called 'Friends of Dick' to counter the torment I've suffered....

Posted 2 years ago #
Vertically Challenged Giant

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Wayland, if you're really serious about your apology then I think that you should donate half of your mug to charity when you inevitably win WOM somewhere down the line.

On the subject of WOM criteria changing, just in case the new criteria is going to involve saying positive things in the writers' room and supporting other contributors, I'd like to take this opportunity to say that I love you all and think you're all great.

Posted 2 years ago #
jp1885

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Whereas I've already got 3 mugs, so you can all bugger off.

Posted 2 years ago #
FraserWords

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I'd sooner have a look at SugarTits' large box. Of hobnobs.

Posted 2 years ago #
wallster

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I'm sorry sir you can't leave this chat thread here. This apology was unreserved.

Posted 2 years ago #
The All New Jeni B

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Is there a prize for being the gobbiest of gob-shites?
If so, send the mug to me at....

Posted 2 years ago #
Des Custard

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This was my flounce piece 2 1/2 years ago. We had more of a stiff upper lip in those days when it came to such matters.

Jeeves and the Time Machine

Posted 2 years ago #
Mary Evans

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[heartfelt applause] That was a great flounce, truly, a classic. Takes me back to the days of He Who Shall Not Stop Flouncing. Loving your work Wayland, now take off the sackcloth and get back to work. I know for a fact that next month's WoM is going to be based purely on bra size. My money's on Des.

Posted 2 years ago #
NewSuburbanDad

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I had my Cambrian comedy explosion before WOM was even conceived, and look forward to being the first writer to fail to win it in its new guise. Don't panic, wayland! The muse doesn't leave you for another whose jokes make no sense to you - she just sleeps around behind your back. The bitch.

Posted 2 years ago #
saltire

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So's mine Mary..not that I would know about [male] bra sizes. FFS Custard..get in shape or else..07889876543

Posted 2 years ago #
Des Custard

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MAZZA! A kind word from you is worth 100 from, say, Saltire (ie about 10 posts), and I'm so glad you like the enhancements. But how did you find out?

I rang that number Salty, and it turned out to be Rebekah Brooks' voicemail. I suppose I could have made a fortune with all those messages, but it's rude to pry into people's private lives.

Posted 2 years ago #
theumpire

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Sugar Tits - I think your Ginger Nuts are Nice.

Posted 2 years ago #
Al OPecia

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Mary, I'm hurt - you saw the size of my moobs at the Cheshire Cheese. In fact, I have to say, at one point your gaze was so intense I became quite uncomfortable.

Posted 2 years ago #
Mary Evans

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Al - I'm sorry, I can't believe you noticed. They just draw the eye. But at least you were kind enough to return the favour.

And Desy, there's nothing wrong with a gentle moob job. Just go easy on the botox, petal. You're beginning to look like Mickey Mouse on the Big Dipper.

Must be time for another NB booze-up. As it's a special occasion, I may treat myself to a sweet sherry or two - who's in?

Posted 2 years ago #
Des Custard

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It seems a long way off, but how about mid-September when everyone's served their summer hols? How goes the Gainful Employment?

Posted 2 years ago #

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