Pathetic to do this but as its topical again: http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=20922
Shit! I must have come up with better stuff than this but can't be arsed to trawl through it all.
The NewsBiscuit Community
A while back this got lots of nice comments so I thought it was in with a chance of at least being a news in brief
"Military careers day avoids mentioning chances of being shot"
And this one sank without trace, but I liked it. ;)
"Maverick academic questions authorship of Jordan’s novels"
I'm waiting for the editor's post to come....
'Thank you very much. You've all now posted the subs you each feel are the very strongest articles from the unpublished pieces you have written. I've reviewed every turgid one of them and I now feel much happier that I was right all along, my judgement is immeasurably superior to yours and you can all get back on your oars in the galley, let the rate increase and the rations decline.'
(to be read in slightly manical, hysterical cackling voice, of course)
I had one pre-switchover on boarding qeues at airports, but I don't know how to excavate the previous Board - anyone able to help?
This my shortest and best sub. It concerned airplane watchers being arrested. Entitled 'planespotting'
Choose a hobby. Choose an anorak. Choose a fucking camera. Choose some mates. Choose a country. Choose fucking India. Choose a hotel. Choose to photograph some fucking planes. Choose rotting away in some fucking foreign jail. Choose a fucking life.
Agree with Waylandsmithy re: VCGs small feller passing for a tall bloke in a big town. I thought that was nailed on.
Cheers guys, was tempted to put that on here myself, but given the amount of nice comments it got I thought that it couldn't really have been missed, and therefore must have been deemed not FP material. I think it's one of my best though but understand that it's probably not the right style.
This did well. Teens asked to do their bit for the environment
This is my favourite sub of mine, which a few people liked but wasn't used:
(And wouldn't be a great choice just at the moment)
Twenty people killed, at haiku competition - lunatic with gun.
And maybe this one too http://beta.newsbiscuit.com/board/66/71/9//NWA-fans-mistakenly-descend-on-IOW-beach.html
I'm guessing from the fact that only one of the suggestions on here has been used, but others that are months old are turning up as NiBs, that the editors have decided asking us to suggest things that we think should have been used was a bad idea and hasn't worked. So have instead trawled back through themselves to pick out some good ones that were overlooked first time around.
I think there were perfectly sound editorial reasons for my stuff being overlooked first time round. I won't try and re-hawk any of it so I can experience rejection all over again.
I was convinced this would get something. Jordan's fanny
I thought this had legs
My favourite, ignored piece was "Net attack blamed on retiarius" following some internet hacking event or other.
This is very much like asking the pretty girl out who's way out of your leaugue. She humilated you once by turning you down; now's she toying with you again for her own amusement.
Simonjmr's Jehovah's Witness piece was actually quite good.
I was dismayed at the complete silence that greeted this. I thought it was quite funny and made a real point about the silliness of the people who spend large amounts of spare time sniping at Bieber and his ilk.
What's a "leaugue" - is it an exotic fruit?
Al, sorry. I misspelled "lig".
I dimly remember quite liking it when pretty girls toyed with me for their own amusement.
I've never had pretty girls toying with me for anyone's amusement.
Although no doubt Sugartits will have done.
Didn't think I had any, but just found a word doc entitled 'Ideas' with this in it:
Essex enters race to host next middle east war
The rest of my 'ideas' were proper shit!
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