Leader of the BNP Nick Griffin is suffering from the world’s first case of Reverse Vitiligo. Vitiligo slowly discolours dark skin in patches and over time can turn black people white. The most famous sufferer to date has been Michael Jackson. Reverse Vitiligo, has the opposite effect.
The condition is causing Griffin huge problems which showed its first signs immediately after the 2010 General Election. It may explain why he has kept a low profile since. Party members are considering Griffin’s tenability as leader. Many feel having a black man, which is effectively what Griffin now is, is irrational. This is causing a moral crisis within die hard members who hate one thing more than blacks: rationality. Accepting it in this case will free them from what they believe to be the vileness of black leadership, but it will also mean a U-turn on what members hold most dear about their party: the use of illogical reasoning. Based on the latter many are suggesting black people should be allowed to lead the party on one condition. Their rite of passage will be determined by the quality of racist jokes they invent. Considering this, Griffin may hold his post as official records show he entered the following into the BNP joke book yesterday: What do you call a black man’s testicles? Cocoa nuts!
Rumour is spreading across Westminster that David Lammy, known for his self deprecating and cutting edge sense of humour, is considering defecting if the above condition is officialised.
Griffin went through a terrible depression in the autumn of last year when he was in the middle of the Reverse Vitiligo process. Friends say his skin was a brown colour which gave him the appearance of a Pakistani. This was compounded by his inarticulate speaking manner which left many in the community thinking he was another newly arrived immigrant who had not bothered to learn proper English. His worst moment was apparently when the local butcher offered him some free halal meat.