Pure Mature Cheese PR have been hired by Johan Harri to bolster his public image.
The journalist has been suspended by the Independent while they carry out an investigation into allegations he is a cross dressing lesbian posing as a gay man for no apparent reason.
To give him the credibility he never had by sending out a crafty subliminal message, PMC PR’s director says Harri’s face will be featured on all upcoming Innocent Drinks cartons.
Fraser Nelson, editor of The Spectator recently suggested Harri plagiarised Postman Pat scripts for what he called his “intellectually light” work. Embarrassingly for Nelson, evidence showed his “intellectually light” work was actually taken, word for word, from Douglas Murray & Melanie Phillips’ articles. He had been getting away with it for so long because only drunk Scottish men on a Saturday night buy the paper thinking it’s the reincarnation of William Wallace.
If found guilty, Harri will be forced to write an hour long episode of The Simpsons in which Homer Simpson performs a monologue as a mute.