BBC chiefs this morning confirmed they have assumed their national political crisis position: on all fours in front of the Government, and bracing themselves.
Executives reluctantly got onto their hands and knees after hearing that Lord Tebbit had been sighted emerging from the crypt in the garden of 10 Downing Street.
Chairman Lord Patten said “We’ve been expecting the call for some days now.
“With David Cameron and his colleagues mired deep in the media scandal and in serious political trouble, clearly the BBC was going to be called upon to perform its usual role in times of national difficulty – acting as a whipping boy and a scapegoat for politicians.
“It’s not something we executives particularly look forward to – though I’m not sure about Gordon from Accounts – but being rogered senseless by ministers desperate to deflect attention away from their own sordid selves is one of the clearly defined roles of the BBC in our charter, and enshrined in our public service mission.”
Cabinet insiders say ministers have been busy building up reserves of righteous indignation by watching reruns of Newsnight and Question Time.
Some reports suggest Eric Pickles has been kept in a very large cage and deprived of food for several days, with only a BBC Press Office publicity photograph of Jeremy Paxman for company. “I wouldn’t like to be the head of department who feels Eric’s sweaty palms grasping his hips,” said the source.
It is thought the BBC’s forthcoming mass seeing-to will last at least until the launch of the new News of the Sun on Sunday next Wednesday.
In a rallying call to colleagues, Lord Patten said: “There’s nothing for it, chaps, but to brace yourselves, grit your teeth and stiffen your upper lip. Just thank your lucky stars for a private education.”
BBC chiefs ‘on all fours and bracing themselves’ over media scandal
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BBC chiefs this morning confirmed they have assumed their national political crisis position: on all fours in front of the Government, and bracing themselves.Posted 5 years ago #
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