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'Aggravated mayhem'...I should say so!
(34 posts) (16 voices)
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FraserWords
offlineMemberIn the immortal words of Basil Fawlty, they'd have to stitch mine back on first.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Jilted wife performs full sex-change on sleeping husband
"Just chopping his cock off was too good for him" seethed Cheng Chun-Mei, wife of love-rat husband Ma-Hao, as reporters gathered to see her being led in to answer questions at Chubei police station in Hsinchu county, Taiwan.
Cheng Ma-Hao (35) called for medical assistance when he discovered he had a set of D-cup breasts and a crudely fashioned, yet functioning vagina after his wife had administered a full sex change in a fit of rage following the discovery of his infidelity with a bar hostess in Hsinchu City.
"I woke up and went to the bathroom, but there was nothing there!" explained an astonished Ma-Hao. "Then I noticed the breasts. I thought I was having a dream, so I pinched myself."
Not having access to surgical instruments, Chun-Mei (26) performed the gender reassignment procedure with whatever she could find in the kitchen.
Medical experts say that her vaginaplasty technique was similar to what is known as the Wilson Method, which is initially performed like a traditional penile inversion, until the vaginal-vault creation step, in which the vault of the vagina is left unfinished, as a raw surface, then lined with a skin graft harvested from the buttocks. The penile skin is used to create the labia minora, clitoral hooding, and the anterior fourchette (frenulum); the glans penis is used to create the clitoris, and the scrotum is used to create the labia majora.
For the breast implants, she used tennis balls wrapped in socks, inserted via incisions made under each arm-pit.
His wife's furious attack also included a fast-track hormone therapy course, which had feminised his curves, reduced body hair and raised his voice.
...not sure where this is going...
Posted 1 year ago # -
Brenda SugarTits69
offlineMemberAs a hot, horny, firm-breasted lesbian, many's the day I've lost to staying in bed, groping and pawing at my awesome, naked, oiled, D-cup fun-bags and frigging myself to a cappuccino froth, but I just can't shake my fetish for middle-aged slightly overweight balding guys to lure into the role-play love-making sessions I share with my hot Japanese girlfriend Akiko.
So out of bed I must get.
Posted 1 year ago # -
I'd be interested to hear if women say the same kind of thing, when they get together for a natter over coffee
Woman 1 : "Mmm, lovely coffee, Liz...Tell you what, though, if I had a nob, I'd just stay in bed all day giving myself hand-jobs"
woman 2 : "Yeah...I'd probably just keep looking under the covers and admiring my loverly phallus..."
Woman 3 : "Or just scratch away at my ball-bag!"...
Woman 1 : "So anyway, I was feeling really bloated until I tried this new yoghurt..."
etc...
Posted 1 year ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberI can say in all honesty, I have never thought to myself, "Ooh, if I was a bloke, I'd just spend my day having wank after wank, or even just admiring my knob."
I have thought, "If I'm ever reincarnated, I'm coming back as a bloke so that I can go to the pub for a pint after work every night, demand that someone else cooks for me, completely abdicate all responsibility for child-care and consider it socially acceptable to belch/fart/scratch my arse/readjust my tackle whenever I feel like it."
And yes, making you bastards pay for all of the above is plenty reason to get out of bed and stop admiring our boobs.
Posted 1 year ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberIronduke, you'd be first on my list for emasculation.
If it hadn't already been done.
Posted 1 year ago # -
A girl I shared a house with at uni once said "I'd like to have a willy for a day, I think it would be fun to play with", so that's kind of close.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Unfortunately I wasn't actually there when she said it. My housemates kept a piece of paper on the wall and wrote anything memorable/stupid/stupidly memorable that somebody said on it.
This appeared on there one day, probably after one of those girly chats that we never get to hear, where it turns out they're every bit as filthy as blokes and probably more so. And while "I'll let you play with mine" might have been a good reply at the time, going up to her several days later and saying "I hear you're looking for a willy to play with for a day, well it just so happens that I have one available." might have come across as a little more creepy.
Posted 1 year ago # -
There is isn't there? Maybe it was so that people who weren't present could share in the wisdom, like this one.
Or to make sure people remember things the next morning that were said after 12 pints of Stella.
Posted 1 year ago # -
beau-jolly
offlineMemberThe things said after 12 pints of wife beater tend to be fully recorded by the young officer in attendance.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Button - I seem to have done. Changed the email address I was registered under and when it was updated I'd changed to the new light blue colour scheme.
Which I've just this second realised is perlously close to Citeh's colours, which I should probably do something about. A bit more tinkering is in order I think...
Posted 1 year ago # -
Hmmm, colour and pattern seems to be determined by the email address somehow, rather than being randomly generated when you update it. So if I use this email address I'm stuck with sky blue.
Maybe it's time to find a gravatar. How about a scared looking cat?
Posted 1 year ago #
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