In further moves to improve relations with Afghanistan, one of the UK’s biggest tourist attractions, the London Eye is to go on loan to the Afghan capital, Kabul. Merlin Entertainments (‘Merlin’), Europe’s leading attractions operator confirmed the news today after successful negotiations with the Foreign Office and the Afghan Transitional Administration.
“We are very excited to announce the news,” said a Merlin spokesman “and looking forward to re-siting the newly named Kabul Eye on banks of the Kabul River overlooking the Pul-e Khishti Mosque, Pushtunistan Square and Kabul Zoo.”
Visitors will have stunning views of the distant Hindu Kush mountain range as well as the occasional deadly suicide bombing and explosion, carried out by a wonderful collection of anti-government elements. On a clear day it may be possible to see Taliban activity towards the south of the Kabul Valley and the occasional drone on its way towards Pakistan.
“There’s a lot to see, even if most of it is wrecked,” said Kabul tourist officer, Mustapha Haqqani, “and the beauty of the Kabul Eye is that you just go round and round and round and round so there is no need to wander off the beaten track.”
Apart from the thrilling ride the Kabul Eye will also offer visitors the option of, ‘private bomb proof capsules’, ‘champagne and home grown heroin experiences’ and ‘extremely fast track ticket facilities.’ Visitors will need to produce a confirmation letter personally endorsed by President Karzai to on-site security plus 1500 US dollars in cash.
Baby changing facilities will also be available to any other visitors who soil themselves during the ride.
“Unfortunately, we will not have any left luggage facilities at the Kabul Eye but there are facilities at Kabul’s mainline station which is just a short but ‘interesting’ taxi ride away.” Said Mr Haqqani.
The Kabul Eye gift shop will be located below the wheel and offer a range of high quality gifts and souvenirs to help make the visitor experience one to remember. Gifts and souvenirs will include gruesome post cards, ex Russian Army guidebooks and mini landmine guides. Next door, the Zen Cafe will offer a complete range of jasmine tea, contraband coffee, hash cakes and sheep eyes.
Reports that Mayor of London, Boris Johnson, will be officiating at the opening ceremony have been welcomed by UK government officials and MP’s.