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1. 

   The All New Jeni B
   

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   I started a summer job last week to keep me going during the Uni hols, and I work as a bakery shop assistant.

   It would seem that there is only so much mindless tedium the brain can take before it starts to look for entertainment.

   Yesterday we had torrential rain, which led me to ask a customer if she'd like a carrier for her box of cakes. Or as I put it, "Let me stick that in a bag for you, there's nothing worse than a soggy box".
   Later, a customer informed me that I had "...cream on my ring." and one of the butchers who works in the shop offered to let me try his tasty new sausage.

   I sometimes wonder if there is a hidden camera, and one day soon we'll see ourselves on 'You've Been Framed!'

   Posted 5 years ago #

2. 

   Gålgö13
   

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   I asked a French woman if they had an expression for Double entendre and she just said they used Double entendre.

   So they do use English words.

   Posted 5 years ago #

3. 

   Qoxiivi
   

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   "I started a summer job last week to keep me going during the Uni hols, and I work as a bakery shop assistant."

   How old are you then? Or is that a rude question? Actually, fuck it, I know it's a rude question. I still want an answer though.

   Posted 5 years ago #

4. 

   The All New Jeni B
   

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   Old enough to be too old for a summer job, but too young for a pension.

   Posted 5 years ago #

5. 

   Qoxiivi
   

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   34

   Posted 5 years ago #

6. 

   The All New Jeni B
   

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   Near enough.

   Posted 5 years ago #

7. 

   Qoxiivi
   

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   Yes! 'Near enough' is as high a benchmark as I ever realistically aim for in any pursuit. Sex, throwing balled-up bits of paper into a distant bin, driving through width-restrictors; you name it, 'near enough' is good enough for me.

   Posted 5 years ago #

8. 

   Mary Evans
   

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   I recently returned to the great TV Times, where I began my journalism career. They have moved to swanky new offices since I last worked there and all the doors are controlled with security cards. But our door is notoriously sticky, so on my first day back, six years and three kids after I left, I offered my still sleazy news editor the opportunity that 'if I hold it open, you can get in more easily'... Hi everyone - hope you're well, it's been too long...

   Posted 5 years ago #

9. 

   The All New Jeni B
   

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   Maz, my lovely! How are you and how is working life?xxx

   Posted 5 years ago #

10. 

    JohnA
    

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    Ah yes, Finbarr Saunders...

    Posted 5 years ago #

11. 

    antharrison
    

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    A woman asked me for a Double entendre.
    So I gave her one.

    Bob Monkhouse, 1972

    Posted 5 years ago #

12. 

    rikkor
    

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    I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, that much is true.

    Posted 5 years ago #

13. 

    rikkor
    

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    Jeni, just read some of your other stuff here. I hope that a "tidy out of the big press" is not a double entendre.

    Posted 5 years ago #

14. 

    Captain Emyr
    

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    asking if a female staff worker "wants to spoon" while cleaning tea-spoons then giving a wink has always been a favourite of mine.

    Posted 5 years ago #

15. 

    simonjmr
    

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    I bet the local gentlemen are a quiver at the thought of getting their hands on your floury baps, licking your custard slice and eating out on a hot juicy growler (North Yorkshire vernacular for a pork pie)

    Posted 5 years ago #

16. 

    Oxbridge
    

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    She's a jammy tart...

    Posted 5 years ago #

17. 

    Dick Everyman
    

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    I heard the comedian Alan Carr once mention a 'growler' so he must be an authority on them I should think.

    Posted 5 years ago #

18. 

    SpankyMonkey
    

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    Sometimes a soggy box can be a positive....

    Posted 5 years ago #

19. 

    Scroat
    

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    Any BLOOMERS Jeni? Fnarr fnarr...

    Posted 5 years ago #

20. 

    be reasonable
    

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    nice buns, Jeni.

    Posted 5 years ago #

21. 

    beau-jolly
    

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    First day working in Warrington and the ageing tart in the bap-shop looked me in the eye and asked, "Are you the one with the big nudger?" I blushed and stammered "Well, I wouldn't say big...". I think the place was called Buttercrust but should have been called Big Baps and Crusty Bloomers.

    Posted 5 years ago #

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