The Murdoch State Media circus is blaming hackers for the collapse of its big red top. Police are investigating and have found clear signs that guylines have been tampered with, but there are clues that it may have been an inside job.
News of the World-famous attraction's collapse spread quickly. Ex-Ring Masters from Rebekah Brooks to Andy Coulson have denied that the tent had been pitched on unsavoury ground, which could have contributed to the collapse. They're blaming a rogue performing elephant-in-the-tent, whose trunk calls were widely regarded as odious.
A strongman claims the elephant was used to hold up the tent on several occasions, and it would often do things that drew in a bigger audience. But the tight-rope walker claims that it had no sense of balance, and often went completely off the rail.
There is some evidence that the elephant was cruelly trained with money, and often left to wallow in its own filth. Critics claim that his handlers must have known what was going on. But Murdoch, the circus owner, denies that any performers are made to do anything they wouldn't do in the wild.
The audience loudly booed the last performance and tore up their programmes in disgust, vowing not to buy any more. The clowns couldn't help themselves from quickly collecting the bits in some buckets and were last seen queuing at a more upmarket circus. The owners of Broadsheets' Travelling Menagerie are trying to reassemble the details, without getting their hands dirty.
There are hopes that media circuses can survive the scandal. Initial signs are good, and all circuses are reporting strong ticket sales for a new act, where Rebekah Brooks is thrown to the lions.
Hat-tip to Dick Everyman