Sky television announced today the creation of the Bruce Channel in regonition of the amount of TV time that news reader and TV presenter Fiona Bruce is currently getting.
'It's a no brainer really' commented Sky spokesman Rex Hill 'If the BBC think she is worthy of all the air time she's getting then who are we to argue. If she's not reading the news, she's presenting the antiques roadshow, interviewing royals or exposing fraud in the art world and even if she's not on the show itself she's been parodied on show's like Deadringers or the Impressions Show'.
Hill spoke of how a proposed James May Channel had been scrapped to make way for the new Bruce Channel.
'We were thinking of setting up May Channel in response to the amount of time James May is taking up on TV but we scrapped that idea as soon as the idea of the Bruce Channel was suggested ' continued Hill 'in the harsh reality of modern television you've got to weigh up the pro's and the con's and at the end of the day who would you rather shag. I mean you don't think Fiona Bruce replaced Michael Aspel on the antiques roadshow because she had a better knowledge of antiques do you?'
Sky seemed very keen to get the channel up and running as soon as possible to highlight the many attributes of the mutli-talented news queen.
'You've got to admit she's got everything, class, brains, beauty and to appeal to our men and motors audience a nice arse and a lovely pair of legs' continued Hill 'you can't really knock the Beeb for putting her on everything going and getting their pound of flesh out of her and talking of her flesh, thank god for children in need because we're getting to see more and more of it as the years go by'.
With this in mind, Sky were willing to get further on the Bruce bandwagon by offering Fiona her own babestation channel but the star herself did not seem keen on the idea. She felt it was a too far removed from her usual work as a respected journalist and antique show presenter but she did say that she would be willing to compromise by making the occasional appearance on 'Loose Women'.
The Bruce Channel will be given it's first airing next week starting off with re-runs of shows such as the 'Antiques roadshow', 'Who do you think you are', 'Fake or fortune', 'Crimewatch' all mixed in with editions of the news that she had presented over the last year.
But even before the new channel had begun broadcasting there have already been some issues regarding the small print on the contract between Fiona Bruce and Sky.
Sky have been upset by her outright rejection of their idea of spicing up future news editions by making her wear a bikini whilst reading the news.
'She better not get to bolshy about things' commented Hill ' we've already got Julia Bradbury lined up if she doesn't start playing ball. If the Bradbury Channel gets the go ahead Julia's already promised us she'll present 'Countryfile' in the buff.