Self-styled ‘Business-woman, author and entrepreneur’ Katie Price, better known to some as ‘glamour model, failed popstar and media whore’ Jordan, has launched legal proceedings against News International after the revelation that her voicemail had not been hacked into by News Of The World reporters.
‘The British people are obsessed with me and it’s in the public interest for them to know everything about me, which is why I have cameras following me 24 hours a day for 7 different TV shows and appear on the cover of every single issue of all those crappy little magazines that you see at supermarket checkouts. For them not to have hacked into my voicemail is disgusting, they’re depriving the public of possibly vital information about my latest relationship with, err, what’s his name? The new bloke? Alex? No that was the old one wasn’t it? Steve something or other I think.’
Despite claiming to have no interest in what is written about her Katie clearly cares deeply that the tabloids still do write something, anything in fact, just to keep her in the lime light.
News International have defended their actions by stating that paying somebody to hack into her voicemail in order to find out gossip about her would be kind of like paying somebody to look out of the window that you’re sitting next to and tell you if it’s raining.
Spokesman Simon Davis explains ‘We are talking about a woman who openly invites all aspects of the media into her life. She sells her voicemail messages bundled together with recordings of all her private phone calls in a downloadable podcast anyway, just to desperately try to keep herself in the public eye, so why would we pay somebody to hack into them? Not that we did that kind of thing regularly anyway, maybe a couple of rogue reporters, but without the knowledge of anybody else you understand.’
Katie meanwhile has tried to make the best of having accidentally brought more publicity on herself by taking the opportunity to plug her upcoming one off special ‘What Katie did on her wedding night’ and reveal that she is in negotiations for a new series which follows her through fresh divorce proceedings in the autumn following her upcoming marriage to whathisname.