In a fresh blow to the Catholic Church's fortunes, God has today announced he is to end the lucrative sponsorship deal which has been the organisation's financial mainstay for nearly 2000 years.
God is a generous and reliable sponsor of many of the World's major religions, principally by offering free places in heaven to those who support the church, and eternal damnation in hell to those who fail to pay their dues.
Sources close to God suggested that he was going to focus on Islam for the foreseeable future. When pressed on God's reasoning for the decision, the source suggested that whilst 'buggering choirboys might have been the final straw, God never really got over all the bother they caused Gallileo. Let's face it, if you'd built a massive universe, you'd be pretty annoyed if someone you're sponsoring tries the torture the first bloke who notices just how amazing it is.'
God was not available for comment yesterday, but he did hand down a message on tablets of stone stating that he 'wished the Catholic church every success in its new ventures', although he suggested that 'less hypocrisy, mind-control and blatant materialism' would probably be a good tactic for its next venture.