Government plans to transfer teachers into failing care homes during long school holiday periods have been released by Schools Minister, Nick Gibb. They have also been met with approval by the opposition leader, Ed Miliband whose opposition to the recent teacher’s strike was met with approval by the Coalition.
“With over 12 weeks holiday a year combined with our need to save billions of pounds across services and improve the quality of care, teachers are the ideal resource and the perfect solution to these problems. When schools are closed, teachers who would otherwise be languishing in a second home in Brittany or trekking in Peru will now be transferred into the care sector to help run failing establishments.”
Tackling poor behaviour and bullying in care homes as well as health care spending are top priorities for the Coalition Government. “Trained teachers provide the best value for money as they are still on the public sector pay roll and have the energy and drive to find solutions.”
Christine Blower, General Secretary of the National Union of Teachers said, “I don’t think this will go down well with members. Stress levels are already at an all-time high and to transfer teachers into these environments during ‘rest and recuperation periods’ is a recipe for disaster. Far from seeing bullying decrease in places like children’s homes or elderly care homes I think we may witness an increase in infanticide and senicide.”
But ministers are unbowed. Nick Gibb continued, “Transferring skills from one sector to the next is the only way to save money. Added to this the Coalition will be able to fully relax during the summer recess, knowing that poor and vulnerable members of our society are in good hands. However, to show my commitment, I will be taking my mobile with me to the Seychelles to ensure that I keep an eye on the situation.”
June Withington, a religious education teacher at St Mary’s Catholic School in Willesden said, “Jesus, H God bastard Christ! I fucking quit right now!”