In an unprecedented announcement, many of the worlds most powerful governments have stated they will put an end to unpopular policies due to the weight of opinion conveyed through social networking site Facebook.
British Prime Minister David Cameron was among the first leaders to face the press, commenting that while he thought his policies were broadly popular, he changed his mind after seeing Facebook groups against, among other things, planned NHS and benefits reforms.
“Of course I thought we were doing the right thing as a Government, but if the people are willing to go the lengths of clicking a mouse button to register their dissatisfaction, then their voices must be heard.”
His statements were echoed by his counterparts from Germany, Spain, Italy and America. “Protest has always been vital for democracy, both in our country and throughout the world,” said President Obama, “no longer can my international colleagues and I stand by and ignore the lazy, half-hearted protests on sites like Facebook. It's time for a change”.
Protester Gary Phillips, who has signed on to as many as 500 Facebook groups during his time on the site, stated in an interview conducted via MSN Messenger, “it's great news that governments around the world are listening to the voices of the people. Just because some of us don't vote; or can't even be bothered to fire off a letter or e-mail to our local MP; or even put trousers on, get out of our chairs and go and join an honest-to-goodness protest doesn't mean we shouldn't be heard. The Government needs to know our opinions on child abusers, policies we know nothing about and people who are cruel to kittens. I'm sure this is as true in other countries as it is in the UK, so I'm delighted by this announcement”.
David Cameron stated that his first act following the announcement will be to push through the Cake Act 2011, forcing bakeries around the country to bake 75% more cakes.
“I saw a group called 'I like cake' with over a million members,” he explained. “I can't ignore those numbers. My constituents want cake, so they shall get it”.
Many predict trouble ahead for Cameron, though, as he has failed to spot the 'cake is overrated' group with exactly as many members.