The world was shocked today by the announcement that The Gillette Company is to cease operations following its perfection of the shaving razor. CEO Michael Proctor announced that there was no need for the company, which has been in existence since 1895, to continue trading following its announcement of a new five-blade razor.
“Since the company's inception we have described each new razor as our 'best shave yet'. Now, with this new five-blade razor, I can announce that it is the best shave possible, ever. We have reached the zenith of razor evolution. This is the perfect razor, our “Holy Grail”. I can say with confidence that our work here is done”.
While some in the industry feel a six-blade razor could be just on the horizon, Proctor was dismissive - “six blades? Don't be ridiculous. It's five blades. Five. There's no need for any more”.
Asked what he would do next, Proctor sighed wistfully, “Grow a beard. I've always wanted one”.
I think this probably needs expanding