In a somewhat shocking statement made earlier today, the RSPCA today revealed plans for stray animals to be rounded up and used to feed the poor and homeless. A leading voice at the organisation, who unsurprisingly wished to remain nameless, detailed the strategy:
'we'll go round at night in a van' he said 'and any stray animals we see - cats, dogs, foxes, badgers, whatever we come across - will be rounded up and sent to a dis-used meat packing plant we have purchased over by Tilbury docks. The animals will be put down, shaved, bathed in disinfectant, cooked and distributed to the poor and homeless of the region'
He continued 'these people are so desperate for fresh food that hopefully the 'meat' will come as a welcome relief and comfort for them. I'm sure they'll just be happy to have anything to eat, nevermind where it came from'.
The service is expected to start in the autumn.
Since the story broke earlier, this reporter has discovered that Meals On Wheels UK is currently in negotiations for a trial service, and a number of Chinese restaurants in the area are believed to be showing an interest.