US to become world leader in Black Death
President Elect Donald Trump's nominee for Health Secretary Robert F Kennedy Jr is planning to make America Sick Again, but in a good...
Lineker to move to Lambeth Palace
Following the recent resignation of Justin Welby, the Archbishop of Canterbury, it has been revealed his successor will be Gary Lineker....
Trump's transition team refuse to call it that
Fueled by culture wars and a lack of dictionaries, President-elect Trump has said he will refuse to transition. He said the trans...
Syria enters era of peace and stability...just like Iraq
As the Assad regime falls, Syria is on the cusp of an age of tranquility, if by tranquility you mean years of terrorist conflict and...
BREAKING: Boris Johnson rumoured to be about to make a speech that will not benefit him personally
As yet unsubstantiated reports are circulating that feckless self-serving buffoon, arch chancer and former Prime Minister, Boris Johnson,...
Russian peace deal demands Zelensky wear a suit
The war in Ukraine is set to rumble on as a diplomatic solution, hinged on President Zelensky knowing how to put on a tie. While...
UK rejoices after fall of Starmer's brutally boring regime
'It's the best Christmas gift ever!' cried Sharon from Uttoxeter, brandishing a dinky bottle of Babycham in the middle of London's...
Met Office issues nationwide alert for Dull Day Keir
"Storms Bert and Darragh have been harrowing events," said a visibly anxious spokesman for the Met Office. "Many of you took them rather...
Plan for change: Keir apologises for small typo
Starmer launched his plan for change today, and set out his key milestones. This fills in some of the detail that couldn't be put into...
Labour thrills nation with exciting pledge gimmick
"This is the first Labour government that Britain's had for 14 years, which is incredibly exciting if you're part of the government," a...
