Colonel Muammar Gaddafi, entrenched Libyan leader and fan of cream teas and fossil shops, has cancelled this year's holiday in Ventnor. The International Criminal Court issued an arrest warrant for the disappointed despot, which means he now can't get adequate travel insurance.
"Muammar had been really looking forward to this, he could do with a break", explained the Libyan Minister for Truth and Jollybobs. "Controlling such a volatile country is torture, it's literally back-breaking, in some cases. He deserves a break somewhere a little more balmy, a little less bomby."
Reservations had been made at the popular Tyrant's Rest, a traditional 'bedouin and breakfast' overlooking the sea. Booked through the popular LastBullet.com website, the leader is worried he might lose his deposit. "They claim that paying £150 back into a Libyan account is in direct contravention of UN Sanctions. Honestly, it's always the same old excuses", complained the Colonel.
Gaddafi had planned to make his trip by golf buggy, in order to avoid a 'no flying' rule imposed by the UN. "The journey looked really good fun, we were looking forward to the road trip", explained his son, Saif al-Islam. "We'd bought some travel sweets, and I'd packed some 'rave' CDs, a compilation of my dad's best speeches. Dad even bought me an 'I Spy book of Collaborators and Running Dogs', to break up the monotony."
"We were obviously a bit worried about running into any coalition forces, but Dad said they wouldn't have a mandate if we weren't flying. This latest development is a real disappointment, we certainly don't want a run-in with the Hampshire Constabulary. We're going to spend the summer camping in the basement again."
Gaddafi tried to look on the bright side. "Perhaps it's for the best. At least someone else will get a look-in at the Cowes celebrity 'boat race' karaoke this year, my Lionel Richie normally slays them. And the traffic around the ports has been murder lately." Gaddafi is hoping a trip to Venezuela might be on the cards later in the year, but has so far only bought a one-way ticket.
Hat-tip to ermintrude