Isle of Wight residents have been risking their health in foolish bravado following a complete misunderstanding of seismological advice following the recent earthquake in Chile. While the headline ‘Everyone fears aftershocks’ has received sympathy, concern, and action, especially from South American and Pacific states; the Isle of Wight has seen a wanton rampage of binge drinking in late night bars.
Chief Constable Blake told reporters, ‘There is a misunderstanding on the part of residents of the island that the seismological advice is, in fact, a challenge to town centre drinkers to see how many shots of the popular drink ‘Aftershock’ they can consume. There appears to be a primal rivalry between all drinkers. Their clear aim is to establish not just that there are some who do not fear aftershocks, but also that there are some who embrace the drink and are willing to consume it to excess. In some cases they have consumed it to its logical extreme.’
‘The misunderstanding runs deeper than mere seismological misinterpretation,’ continued the Chief Constable, ‘in many cases these drinkers have ended up in the local kebab shop. There have been some terrible moments when, in true innocence, the aftershock inebriates have asked for extra chilli.’