The largest voluntary organisation for women in the UK, with over 200,000 members is to set up a military wing following concerns about the impact of proposed cuts to the armed forces. After extensive talks with Secretary of State, Dr Liam Fox the WI failed to reach a compromise and has decided to ‘take matters into its own hands.’
A spokeswoman for the WI said “We asked him very nicely over several pots of Earl Grey and a selection of home-made fancies to reconsider these proposals and look at alternative ways to reduce the defence budget instead of these vicious job cuts. But he would not be moved.”
Following a nationwide poll, members took the decision to set up a military wing which will now see flotilla’s of grand dames and assorted ladies from a range of professions making their way from Portsmouth to Qatar then overland to Afghanistan to join British troops.
“In keeping with our multi-cultural agenda we have decided to call our new wing Al-Ahrar, Arabic for ‘The Free’.” said Ms Doris Jefferson of the Streatham WI group.
WI troops will mass at Portsmouth on 14th July (Bastille Day) where they will proclaim the new military wing by raising the WI flag and singing their battle cry “Jerusalem” before climbing on board The Princess of the Seas for the first leg of a luxury Mediterranean cruise prior to their campaign.
Ms Jefferson continued, “Our fundraising over the past decade has provided us with enough funds for one chieftain tank and a couple of rocket launchers. We were also lucky enough to find 75 Armalite rifles that have been in store at St Bartholmews Church Hall in Streatham since the 1950s. They come equipped with a three-prong flash hider and a bayonet lug under the barrel, ideal for close combat situations.”
A spokesman for the Ministry of defence said, “We have advised the WI that their action is ill-advised and quite possibly illegal. They have however informed us that they will be taking a container load of home-made jam, chutney and warm woollen socks to the front line to help counteract our austerity measures.”