The Wimbledon tennis championships were plunged into chaos today, after militant Scottish nationalists kidnapped Britain’s Andy Murray.
Scottish Heroes for an Independent Tomorrow have claimed responsibility for the kidnapping and are demanding independence for Scotland as the price of his safe return.
So far, Scotland Yard has refused to release any details regarding how the terrorists managed to capture Murray. However, rumours circulating online allege that he was forcibly bundled into a tartan van in the early hours of this morning, by three men wearing kilts.
Likewise, police are keeping quiet about the location where Murray is being held, though they have revealed that they are conducting telephone negotiations with the terrorists.
Sir Paul Stephenson told reporters: “Having spoken briefly with Mr Murray, I can confirm that despite the traumatic events of the past few hours, he is no more cantankerous than usual.”