Two Eastend Kids – Tanya Grotter and Terry Blotter- breaking into the home of JK Rowling found her in a trance - puffing on a spliff whilst dancing round a pot of gold. She had fled from her bit-part in UK Soap Opera : Emmerdale - in which she was playing Ella - a sour rich bitch - who had been written out of her own control over Aaron - boyfriend of her daughter. Being very upset that scriptwriters would no longer allow her to stiffen Aaron's Wand - she took revenge by walking off set and returning to London to cook up another plan on how to milk Kids. She shook her bare breasts at the Soap Director and Casting agent – warning : “I will revenge…read all : a bow-Tit …HA-HA-HA-HA-” A spokesperson said :"she will not be missed.. she was always a pantomime dame... a closet Willy-W#nker..feel the rub ....(dub)"
When the Kids stumbled across the dishevelled Rowling she was dancing round the Golden Pot - puffing on her spliff - chanting : "POT-AM-ORE.....POT-AM-ORE...yes! yes! yes! POT-AM-ORE ...I'll give'em POTTERmore....HA-HA-HA-HA-HA...that’s the way to do it … that’s the way to do it HA-HA-HA-HA-…yummy …more money … HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-money can’t buy me Love…but it can buy ME!! Tee-hee-hee-hee" she then fell on the floor grasping her Golden dildo tightly - which she called Harry - in hysteria as she plunged it deeper and deeper chanting in a sweat : "come for me Harry...screw for me Harry ... feed me ...yes!yes!yes!" and words to that effect then as her legs trembled violently she next grabbed her pogo stick with Daniel Radcliffe’s head on it. – marked “LAUD OF THE FLIES!” " Equus.. Daaaarling…” she drawled….”between my legs I fix thee…I made you everything you own…” before humping it up and down as she circled the room – like Witch on broom..-much to the horrified Kids' amazement. . Gobsmacked - They didn't wait for the story of her next Climax but promptly fled in fear, ditching their own rollover ideas - crying "freaking hell! Bad smell! Stuff that! and we don't think????"
The kids are allright - and trotted home merrily clutching a cheque for £25,000.00 after selling the story of their nasty experience to Wapping. So - Who says Brit kids are thick? They found that in this case : the crime didn’t pay – but Truth did. Clever Kids!
Eve Guevara-Sansom ©
Quick links: NewsBiscuit Home • Chat Room • Writers' Room • Top Ten
JK Rowling – CAUGHT IN THE ACT by FACT
(13 posts) (10 voices)
-
Posted 1 year ago #
-
Al OPecia
offlineMemberAnother Nutter:
http://www.cevivecheguevara.zoomshare.com/
"I worked as Senior Teacher/Community Education Director for U.K. Government as my life's work and saw how, in fact, Government actually destroyed real Education and led to the breakdown of worthwhile life culture under Tony Blair and cohort sycophants. I left it all in despair, frankly. I now run my own Theatre projects to keep Justice- Truth and sanity dynamic."
Yeah, right, bollocks. Please bring someone sane back, like Aargharry.
Posted 1 year ago # -
The All New Jeni B
offlineMemberDo you think that the soothing colours of the site are drawing them all here, in the same way mental institutions had a particular shade of green to calm the patients?
Posted 1 year ago # -
waylandsmithy
offlineMemberThat's the trouble with teachers these days: just not enough acid casualties left.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Ironduke
offlineMemberBonjo, I think, (perhaps only on a technicality, but nevertheless a happy happenstance) you have copyrighted your own Complete and Utter Shite ©BonjoNelson.
Therefore, not only can you now be accused of writing complete and utter shite, you can never deny it.
Finally, any time anyone wishes to accuse someone else of writing complete and utter shite, they must cite your name.
I think I'll be hearing your name on my subs for many years to come...
Posted 1 year ago #
Reply
You must log in to post.